


Eyes Always Seeking

by SouthernGentleMonster



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Hozier is considered classic love songs dont @ me, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Useless Gays, for the smut chapter, he's kinda new with the romance thing, sigma is a workaholic, soft angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 13:11:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20836028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthernGentleMonster/pseuds/SouthernGentleMonster
Summary: As days pass Dr. Harold Winston finds that his relationship with Siebren may be deeper than he thought when an unexpected transmission calls the astrophysicist back to earth and causes Harold upset.





	Eyes Always Seeking

**Author's Note:**

> lord as I was writing this another lovely fic came out with a similar concept so I apologize I was a bit slow on writing this I hope it doesn't step on any toes
> 
> also pls be gentle this is my first fic for the fandom
> 
> A thank you to Oliver (ApurricatingCat on twitter) for looking over the fic and helping point out parts i could improve on 
> 
> also thank you alphawave (also on twit/tumblr) for cheering me on even tho i was struggling

It was that time when almost everyone else had left the base back to earth to visit their families for the holidays. Harold and Siebren were left alone to continue their work through the end of the year. It had only been a week and the scientists almost seemed to have fallen into a life of domesticity waking in the same hour, eating their meals together, sharing their notes for possible crossovers in their research. They no longer worked at their desks, at times almost sitting back to back. Both men were passionate about their work and Harold noticed that passion had started to bleed into their relationship. It was almost as easy as breathing now and was a new feeling for Harold, as the other scientists tolerated him at best. There was no friendship between them. It was… nice and in a different sense of caring for the subjects. Little did he know just how much things had changed for him until one early morning.

“Harold.” He looked up as Siebren , who did not quite meet his eyes, approached. He looked solemn, his normally bright expression almost dull while he bounced from foot to foot. It was a very unusual behavior for him. He could sense that there was something wrong, his thoughts immediately jumped to the worst conclusion. He turned to look at the displays and saw all the subjects were fine and he did not understand Siebren’s uneasiness. 

“What is it?” The words almost stuck, tripping over his tongue in their hurry to jump out.

“They have called me back to earth.” There was a stretch of silence between them, Harold's heart beating against his ribs, he could feel the sting of his nails against his palms. He should have expected this to happen, it only made sense that Siebren would have to eventually leave.

“How long? When?” Harold held his breath as he watched Siebren still. Did he really want an answer to this question or does he simply feel at a loss as what to say.

“In a weeks or so time. They want me there for a month or two to report on what we’ve learned.” They wanted Siebren but not Harold. It almost felt like a punishment, since he had finally found someone he considered a good friend only to have it taken away at the whim of others. He must have made a face for Siebren stepped forward and placed his hands on his shoulders. 

“It won't feel that long  _ mijn vriend  _ we work so much it’s almost as time doesn’t exist for us and we will unite once more.” There was a look that passed over his face briefly before being replaced by a strained smile. Siebren gave a small cough before he quickly left him to his work, not that Harold was able to focus much, his mind trying to sort through the cluster of emotions he was feeling. They didn’t see each other for the rest of their shift, not that Harold felt like he could handle it. That night as Harold laid in bed his thoughts of doubt still plagued him. It was halfway through a restless sleep cycle when it hit him as to why he was so upset. He felt heat slowly rise in his cheeks and he let out an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t be an idiot Harold you simply want a companion who shares an interest in your work.” His words were loud in the silence of his room, almost as if mocking him for the half-lie, his chest aching with the molton of his emotions. What little sleep he got was filled with dreams where he chased something just out of sight and he woke with a longing deep in his bones. In the end, he knew he had to accept the fact that it would never happen and tucked it all away deep in his mind. Men like him didn’t get a happy ending.

Siebren greeted him as usual, voicing concern of how tired he looked but seemed to withdraw after his moment of eagerness. Harold played it off with a joke before they both fell awkwardly silent. Something had changed since the day before and he watched Siebren who seemed highly interested in his tea, noticing small differences in how he held himself. He was pulled back and leaning against the counter, unlike the usual animated conversations they had most mornings. There was only a meter or so between them but it felt like entire galaxies. Harold finally broke the silence.

“What is it you think they want you to do that would require you to be gone so long?” Was that tone always in his voice? Always so wanting in attention from his colleague? A spike of anxiety rose up and dark thoughts came with it. Maybe this is the moment that Siebren had been waiting for, to get away to better places. To better  _ people,  _ people who weren’t Harold.

“There is a new set of scientists that have joined our study that they want to introduce, a rather eccentric looking group if you ask me. I am under the assumption that they don’t feel they are adequate in explaining what we do here, it is after all very important work.” There was a flash of pride in Siebren’s eyes and Harold swore almost a smile. It felt like his heart had jumped into his throat and he nearly choked on the sip of coffee he had taken in an attempt to hide his face. Siebren reached forward and it surprised Harold so much he gave a small jump nearly dumping his coffee down the front of his lab coat.

“Oh, it’s nearly time to feed the specimens!” He didn’t wait for an answer before he hurried off to the other side of the base. He was extremely grateful that the others weren’t there to see him like this as he was sure it would get him mocked.  _ ‘Get it together Harold you’re an old man for God's sake.’ _ As he entered their living quarter's specimen 28 hurried over and looked almost concerned as he grabbed at his pant leg until Harold picked him up. 

“You shouldn’t be awake yet.” He gathered him up and cradled him to his chest as he made sure everything was in place. They always tell him he’s too soft with the specimens, that they were nothing more than animals for their experiments but Harold couldn’t bear the idea of being cruel. A small hand cupped his face and he turned to face him, 28’s other hand laid flat against his heart.

“Sad?” 28 asked. Harold sighed, he knew he couldn’t lie to him he was too smart.

“It’s a good kind of sad, I promise.” Harold booped his nose and tried to give him a reassuring smile before he set out to do his morning duties. By the time he was finished and made his way back to the dining area, Siebren was gone but it didn’t take Harold long to find him in the observatory hunched in front of the telescope softly humming to himself. The port window had been opened, the earth in full view. When he didn’t react to him entering the room Harold frowned. He didn’t wish to impede the other man's space if he was making an effort to work but it was unusual for him to work in here.

He placed his hand on Siebrens shoulder who looked up with a completely open expression mixed with surprise. 

“Did you know it’s Christmas eve?” Siebren paused as if to gather his thoughts. “Do you have anyone home you wish to see?” The question threw him. Harold didn’t really have anyone left back on earth. As beautiful as he found it and all its creatures he’d been up on the base for so long it no longer felt like home. The specimens and his work were his family now.

“No. Do you?” Maybe this was the source of Siebrens odd behavior. Harold wanted to reach out, to hold his hand in comfort but he dare not. 

“No. I never had a family.” Those words sunk deep into him, tears stung at his eyes and even with a valiant effort, Harold couldn’t hold them back. How alone did Sibren grow up?

“No, no. No tears my friend.” Siebren was suddenly close, hands so gentle for their size wiping away his tears. He was counting the moments between heartbeats, waiting for it all to fall apart, to wake from whatever dream this was. Yet, it didn’t. Harold looked up and found Siebren looking like he was almost searching for something. He averted his gaze from Harold, his hands now resting on his shoulders. “I once had a caregiver who would always dance with us when we were sad. Would that make you feel better perhaps?” Siebrens entire face was now tinged pink. 

Alarms rang out in his mind, warning him that this wasn’t real and he was only setting himself up for disappointment when he woke. Yet the hand that reached out to him felt warm and very real against his cheek. 

“We don’t have any music.” Harold pointed out. Siebren gave him a mischievous look, brow quirked in question. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something blocky that he set onto the table. 

“They really can't stop us from bringing personal items. I may have some of the old classics though they don’t really match the season.” Siebren put the small machine onto the table and clicked a few buttons and music started to play that he didn’t recognize.

“Do you ever feel lonely Sibren?” The music was soft in the background as they clasped hands clumsily. Siebren towered above him by over a foot but Harold felt like he was floating, his heart pattering away in his chest. 

“I did, for quite some time that is until I found a star to follow.” At this point, all the blood in Harold's body had to be in his face. _ ‘Is this it, will I finally get to have this one thing.’ _

** _I had a thought, dear, however scary_ **

** _ about that night _ **

“It must be a beautiful star to have caught your attention.” Siebren’s fingers tapped along with the music against his waist and Harold had to bite at the inside of his cheek to prevent embarrassing himself. This was probably the most he’d been touched in years. 

“A magnificent star indeed.” He could feel a thumb slowly rubbing circles into his hip, his legs felt weak, surely Siebren didn’t realize what he was doing. His whole body felt hot as they stood close, as they swayed to the music, sterling eyes bore into his. The room felt like it was spinning around them.

“Siebren.” The way it had slipped out it felt like a sacred rite, one he could repeat for the rest of his life. He made a split-second decision that he hoped he wouldn’t regret.

** _I knew that look dear_ **

** _Eyes always seeking_ **

** _Was there in someone_ **

** _That dug long ago_ **

Gravity seemed to pull them together, the hand on his back moving up his spine leaving shocks beneath firm fingertips. The kiss was soft, almost hesitant but it was enough to have Harold feel like he was drowning amongst the very stars around them. He grabbed the front of Siebren’s shirt, tilting his head as he pushed up to meet him better. The kiss became more eager, his glasses were smashed against his cheek but he didn’t give a damn. There was no space between them and he swore he could feel Siebren’s heart beating as fast as his. He only pulled away when he started to feel light-headed and giddy.

** _Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips_ **

** _We should just kiss like real people do_ **

Siebren stood there stunned and it took him several moments to gather himself.

“You’re not a dream then.” Siebren sounded taken aback, cheeks flushed in such an endearing way. 

“Does this feel like a dream?” He pulled Siebran back to him and kissed him again, hands cupping his face, fingers curling around locks of hair. Harold had never felt more grounded than in that moment, embraced by a warmth he had all but forgotten. He felt a thousand questions bubble up in his mind. 

“When did you realize?” He asked Siebren.

“The first week.” Surprised, Harold looked him dead in the eye.

“Siebren that was over six months ago...” Siebren looked bashful, biting at the corner of his lip. 

“I didn’t think anything of it, you didn’t seem interested in anything beyond your work.” Harold felt a sliver of guilt. Maybe if he had realized sooner then Siebren would have been more forthcoming about his feelings. That train of thought didn’t get far as Siebren gave a quick tap against his skull. “I know that face Harold, you’re thinking about this too hard.” 

Harold pouted. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Siebren that’s just how my face looks.” Siebren let out a joyous laugh, his hands gentle running up and down along Harold's ribs and he relaxed.

“You’re full of shit.” Harold couldn’t help but also let out a hearty laugh at their sudden bluntness. Harolds head was now tucked beneath Siebren’s chin and he listened to his soft humming as music continued to play as they swayed together.

“We could always make up for lost time Siebren. Who would even notice if we didn’t work for a couple of days, all the others are off doing nothing.” Siebren made a noise in agreement but didn’t move from where he clung to Harold.

Perhaps they did do less work in their last days alone together before the shuttle arrived, the two men seeking each other out across the base simply to be close. There was an entire shift where Siebren had simply draped himself over Harold and very distractingly read out his reports. They had taken to sharing sleeping space, Siebren’s warmth a new comfort he knew he’d miss over the next couple of months but he was glad to be able to enjoy for now. When the shuttle finally did arrive and the other scientists with it Harold felt sadness but he knew it would be worth the wait when Siebren poked his head out of the shuttle, a quick look about and swiftly kissed him goodbye.

“You best hurry back.” Harold said, trying his best to sound firm about it. Siebren let out a quiet laugh and smiled. Harold’s heart jumped into his throat when Siebren replied.

“I will always find my way back to my  _ noordster _ .” Harold waited at the loading dock and watched as the shuttle flew back towards earth, quietly humming along with the music Siebren had left him.

  
  



End file.
